About Our Family

I’m a Single Mother by Choice to Audrey Hertel, conceived with the help of an anonymous donor in Georgia.  Why did I choose this path?  It was simple– I found myself approaching 40 and wanted kids, but didn’t have a partner.  It wasn’t an easy choice, and it took a year of fertility treatments to get pregnant, but I am happy and relieved that it’s all worked out so well.

I’m an only child myself, and my mom was almost 40 when she had me in 1970.  While that was unusual back then (my mom said the first thing she did when I was born was to count my fingers and toes to make sure they were all there), today lots of women my age are having kids.  In my case I always knew I wanted kids, but delayed through the second half of my thirties after having lymphoma (a blood cancer) at 34.  I was worried it might return and I didn’t want to bring a child into the world only to leave her at a young age.

Fortunately I passed my fifth anniversary of finishing chemotherapy and was considered “cured” on March 23, 2010.  The five years between cancer  and getting pregnant were long and difficult emotionally, but I can finally say that I got more from cancer than it took from me.  I got a perspective on life that most people only get later, when it’s too late to make major course corrections in their work and personal lives.

So I am having a baby by myself, am starting a new business that will give us the financial and locational freedom to travel and spend time together, and I am looking forward to building a rich community for Audrey.  And, yes, I also still hope to find a wonderful man to spend my life with.

This blog will be an account of our journey and all of its ups and downs.  I hope to inspire women who are thinking about conceiving, have already conceived, or are raising a donor baby.  I also hope that my experiences with building a life and family after surviving cancer will add to the conversation about preserving fertility in young adults with cancer.  But most of all, I want to build a record for Audrey herself of all the wonderful times we have together while she is growing up.  I dedicate this blog to her and hope she enjoys reading it someday.